A friend of mine asked me to write about how my life has changed being involved with the Immigrants/Refugees that have come to my community. I decided to post what I wrote to her ......especially in light of the fact the US and Canada have been encouraged to increase their acceptance of Immigrants and Refugees from Syria and Iran. Here is what I wrote :
A local United Church of Canada has been the home for our local Multicultural Center for roughly 10 years. I have been involved with assisting a teacher for a about 14 months. She has a classroom of between 10-18 Level One students. All adults with families ..... some family members still in their home country or refugee camp; some waiting to arrive here; some will never see one another again.
Some have been in class 2 years, some only 3-4 months. Very few that come to the school here have had any experience with structured classroom from holding a pencil to knowing even how to write their name. They just desire a better life for themselves and for their family.
As someone whose calling has been to sit with those at end of life within a long term care setting and palliative, I knew I had patience but I didn't realize the difference in patience where I really am called to just BE PRESENT vs. called to help someone as an adult learn English and yet "being present' for these immigrants is what I am also seeing I am called to do.
I wanted to stretch my soul, perhaps a way to keep myself "warm" in our very cold, long winters.....I have the outer clothing for such coldness....I am wanting to keep growing the inner warmth for all people......and seek to undertand......to remove my limiting beliefs around those with different religious beliefs and cultural beliefs and I felt this was a wonderful way to give back but also to receive. As ST. Francis of Assisi said: Seek first to understand and then to be understood (I paraphrase).
I now see the women with their Hijib /men and women, some still in their traditional dress and I feel so comfortable. I see their eyes....which for me are windows to the soul . It is just a willingness to SEE that we all need. and not be afraid to trust we will walk through all that we see.....together .
I become more and more aware of how much we have in common vs how differently our worlds are. I have found smiles are the universal language....just as tears and hugs are. I help about 5 students 1 on 1. One is a couple who have lived in a refugee camp for 22 years! with 3 children. Neither knew how to hold a pencil. What I see is there desire to please. They copy things very well and as a way to 'survive' memorize the alphabet/words as best they can but if you ask them to "point to the letter B".....they can't do it at this time (they have lived here 5 months). What I learned was saying "point' had NO meaning for them. They didn't know what "point" meant. They didn't know what "turn the page" meant. SO there is so much work to do to get to a place where one can begin to teach words and meaning of those words . Ahhh Retention.....difficult to attain.
Patience is taking on a whole new meaning for me as well as my EGO is dissolving little by little to.. This is a good thing. This is not about how quickly I can get them to say a word or a letter........it is meeting them where they are and gently encouraging them and providing a safe place to learn to trust (also a word they don't know.....but I see in their eyes 'trust' for them is defined in the same way it is defined in the English language). Sometimes they just need to share what is going on in their head/heart/their country. This couple from Burma now greets me as soon as I arrive and they extend their hand to shake my hand which is huge considering in the beginning they stood away from me. I'm also learning the government still has a long long way to go in understanding the emotions and feelings and fears these people have in starting life in a foreign country.......on top of seeing the horrific experiences they have seen in their country of origin/refugee camps. Lots of red tape keeps me from becoming more involved and I understand the need for boundaries. I just stay focused on the basics of the tutoring along with building a connection they can trust. I remind myself I can be a ripple in the water but I can't move the ocean by thinking I can move the entire ocean at once.
I am learning the Immigrants often have not had a letter or a sound ("th" "v") in their native tongue. Getting this couple from Burma to pronounce "v" is quite something. Yesterday was the first time I felt totally calm working with this couple and the letter "v". Usually I get frustrated internally...not at them. yet I have no doubt even with the language barrier they feel my frustration. It is teaching me to 'walk alongside" vs. the "follow me.....this will make your life better" attitude. I realize a light bulb moment can occur at any time.....but it takes a lot of patience and repetition . They rarely tire of the repetition and I must remind myself my uncomfortableness in being repetitious is MINE!
I'm learning these students have had no experience in a strategy to learn. No concept of even how to put a puzzle together.
I have another woman who is originally from Liberia who had 6 family members die from Ebola this past July. She kept coming to class, working hard and the class/instructor took time to let her share and we all hugged her and then began the day's studies. Beyond amazing their resilience . Yes some days she falls asleep in class, but I can only imagine the restlessness in her heart and soul having lived in her country and it's turmoil , knowing it was best to leave and yet having to leave loved ones and friends she will never see again. Her favorite days of the week are Monday-Friday because she gets to come to school!
I help two women from Afghanistan. One is doing very well and shares the pros and cons of her country. I am learning so much about a world I have only watched through the news media. Another woman who has been here less than a year and her body /face is covered in scars from burns from terrorist attacks in her country. Her face has been reconstructed but very poorly yet her SMILE is beyond beautiful.....It is truly all I see when we have our time together. She has many issues that probably will hinder her ability to transition to English but her children are learning as is her husband. I was honored that one day she told me in very broken English about her scars and how she got them and showed me her arms, legs, torso area. My heart hurt. Honestly, I feared she would say they were from the U. S. attacks. EGO again..... I had not told her I was from the US at this point and I was relieved when she said it was her own 'bad people". I don't see her often as she has so many emotional issues, as you can imagine, that it makes it difficult for her to focus and even desire to come to school. When I told the instructor she had shared all this with me she was amazed as this student had not opened up to her at all about her scars etc. etc. The instructor was so pleased she had opened up to anyone.
I watch the students help one another and console each other when troubles surface. I see the immigrants are no different than we are in that some bond as friends and some don't...Just because there are 10 from Eritrea doesn't mean they are all buddies but it does mean they come together to help when a serious need arises.
There is an International Supper coming up where the Immigrants will be cooking their dishes from their various countries and tickets will be sold to raise money for bus trips here and there and supplies for those new to Canada. I cannot wait to be in the mix with the women cooking the various dishes and seeing the love that goes into preparing each dish. Cooking for them is their way of showing deep love for people because in many cases it is all the women are allowed to do and they know without food their family will die. To we Westerners it appears they go SO slowly really in all things but very much in food preparation. To them it is a labor of love.....there really is no rushing around that I have noticed except when cleaning up or working outside in gardens etc. I think in our effort to get things done faster, we truly have lost some important opportunities to bond with others.
I have lived in Canada 25 years and 15 of those years I have lived in Saskatchewan. Except for my accent no one would know I wasn't from Canada. Yet at times I feel FAR away from my homeland. At the end of the day, for me, the gift of helping the Immigrants gives me is to remind me to look beyond myself. When I enter the classroom each Monday and Wednesday, I am greeted with smiles and "how are you?" and as my time ends I hear "thank you teacher Ginny" and we hug. Never do I enter or leave that place w/out many hugs! They ask about my 3 yr old granddaughter who has had some health issues but is doing well right now and it brought me to tears when this happened the first time because I had not been involved in the tutoring very long but had to be away for 2 weeks then again this past May for an entire month to help care for my granddaughter. I have friends here that I have known for 15 years who some never asked about granddaughter even when she was in the hospital. The Immigrants understand on a deeper level than most.
As Iyanla VanZant says in a book title "One Day My Soul Opened Up!"......My soul continues to open up as I am sure the souls of these Immigrants opens up a tiny bit at a time as we meet them where they are. I continue to learn how difficult it is to teach English and to learn English as adults but I continue to learn how special it is to see our souls open up slowly but surely to embrace one another in community in a community where we will always be foreigners until the world can learn to see us all as ONE.
I also continue to understand I cannot get someone to understand something they have not experienced but I know this much, our stories are vastly different but our feelings of the heart ....fear, sadness, anger, loneliness, joy, excitement, anticipation are just the same! That's where I try and begin my day with them. With anyone really. They don't need anyone to fix their past, they just need someone to care that they had that life but now want to create a better life for themselves and their family.
They have seen such horror that even our severe Canadian winters don't get them down! Sure they speak of 'how cold it is" but do so with a joyful spirit versus the negative spin the locals express, myself included. I am becoming more and more aware of MY comments and attitudes and seeing the blessings in my day and I too thank the immigrants for teaching ME lessons beyond ABCS's to communicate with words, but lessons in the ABC's of LIFE in ONEness just trying to be the best we can be!
I wonder what these two women are thinking as they look out onto the lake in the Provincial Park where the students had a day of outdoor class time. I know they feel safer in Canada but they have left much to gain that safety too.
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